Embracing Back-to-School Chaos with Yoky Matsuoka

Yoky Matsuoka is on a mission to help other parents avoid similar burnout with Yohana, a concierge service for family wellbeing. Here are five of her hard-earned takeaways for this season of fresh starts.

Stop Chasing Perfection

Some people think I have it all together, but I am so the opposite. I'm held together with toothpicks and paper glue; if one piece falls off, the whole thing falls apart. I've had to learn the hard way to let go of perfection. Life has gotten so much easier since I changed my perspective from chasing perfection to embracing the imperfections – motherhood, being a wife, a CEO. It will never all be perfect, and I love that now. I don't ever want my kids to think I have it all together because I don't, and I don't want them to feel any pressure to be perfect in the future.

Embrace Chaos

When things feel overwhelming, I ask myself: Why do I do all these crazy things? Why do I commit to planning family vacations or signing my kids up for dozens of activities? Having a family is hard work, but I would not trade it for anything. There are times when kids are at different schools in different directions while my husband has a work trip, and I need to be at work. I've learned to embrace the chaos (so much easier said than done) and try to appreciate the small moments of connection in our crazy busy lives. I do my best to drive my kids to school so that I can have a few minutes with them in the car every day. When I am able to embrace the chaos, it makes it easier for my kids to go with the flow too. When schedules are extra tricky, my kids understand and work with me.

Prioritize Sleep

I thought it was normal to sleep 4 to 6 hours a night (this was the corporate norm!), and when a coach pushed me to "sleep at least 7 hours daily," it seemed impossible and unnecessary until she showed me the research and I realized I was doing my body harm by not respecting it. Slowly, as I began to show up for myself consistently, every aspect of my life started to improve. I could feel that I was a better mom, partner to my husband, and leader at work. At first, it didn't make sense that I could sleep for two more hours and somehow be able to fit more into my life—but that's exactly what happened.

Start a 'Me List'

School offers a new rhythm as you settle into a more predictable routine with kids' school and activities, so it can also be a reminder to put your mask on first. Like most parents, I was not willing to put myself first for the longest time. This was my mindset at the office, too; I always put my needs last. I was completely depleted and not showing up like my best self.

Years later, I can say this mindset shift and practice of having a "Me List" has helped me in all aspects of my life. Doing a few things a week to prioritize my well-being - like going on a morning run, getting a good night's sleep, or even listening to an audiobook - has improved my quality of life. Do I skip some weeks? Absolutely. It's not about perfection; it's about taking the first step towards learning to put your oxygen mask on first, whatever that looks like for you.

All of these principles are easier said than done. There are many days that I don't do any of these, and it's ok. It is NOT about perfection. It simply does not exist. I share what works for me because I don't want any parent to feel alone. It's so much more about the journey and learning to enjoy it - regardless of what that looks like- along the way. I am constantly learning, tweaking, and striving to be more in flow and at peace.

Just for you: Sign up for Yohana's family concierge service by 8/20/2023 and get one month free with the code FREEMONTH.